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Writer's pictureChelsea Page

How to use personal pronouns

Updated: Aug 25, 2022

Tips for being an ally to the transgender and nonbinary community

The United Church of Christ says that using correct personal pronouns is important. But how?


When you meet someone, complete the sharing of your own name by adding your personal pronoun. For example, "Hi, I'm Chelsea. My pronouns are she/her."


Just this alone makes space for another person to express their pronouns, which is important if their pronoun does not seem to match their gender expression and therefore others are more likely to misgender them, which is hurtful.


If you wish to go further, you can be direct and ask, "Would you like to share your pronouns with me?" It's okay if the other person does not have a clear answer for you at this time. When in doubt, just subtitute their first name in place of a pronoun when referring to them. Do not ask personal questions unless you ask permission first.


When there is no opportunity to ask someone their pronouns, you can always refer to them using "they/them" pronouns. It is great practice for using the singular "they."


Finally, you will make mistakes and that's okay. When you or someone else uses an incorrect pronoun, apologize briefly and say the correct pronoun. You may have to do this repeatedly, but don't make a big deal out of it.


Studies correlate proper use of personal pronouns with decreased suicide risk for youth. Pronouns are important! Thank you for practicing with pronouns.


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